Until then, here are your top 5 “successful” wastes of time:
1. Train a pigeon to deliver all of your inter-office mail (see carrier pigeon, right, sadly extinct). Hey, anything’s faster than the mailroom.
2. Googling ex-boyfriends/girlfriends/partners in order to silently triumph in your decision to drop them, or to breathe a sigh of relief at the bullet you dodged when they dropped you.
3. Surfing Fresh Direct for wines and new recipes. Because, you know, we still have another food-filled holiday to look forward to.
4. Facebook (for game-play, stalking and “social networking,” whatever that is).
5. Lifetime movie marathons. Because it’s good to know when Delta Burke’s biological clock is ticking, AND when it’s exploded. For more on that, check out the greatest film of the Lifetime genre. Ever.
Honorable Mention: “Listening to an aging baby boomer trapped in the 1960s.”